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Review – Midnight in Paris (2011)

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At some point, nearly every lover of stories has desired to meet their favorite, typically long-dead, author and pepper him with questions about, well, everything.

“What was it like the first time you stepped through the wardrobe?
“What more can you tell us about the Shire?”
“Can you teach me to write like that?”

While authors’ works will usually be our only access to their minds, this doesn’t stop us from dreaming what it would be like to have tea with the Inklings or ride a steamboat with Sam Clemons, so, when my wife and I stumbled upon a movie about a modern-day author who goes back in time to visit the likes of Hemmingway and Fitzgerald, we were naturally thrilled. After two days of fighting with our internet and desperately glancing at Netflix’s reminder that the movie was leaving in three days, we finally got Midnight in Paris to play uninterrupted.

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Review – Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

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My wife and I were on a mission. 2017 had nearly come and gone…and we had missed nearly all of its theatrical offerings during their Regal runs. But surely – we thought – surely we can catch one or two films when they hit our beloved dollar theater.

Not a chance. We were discovering a truth we had only heard whispers of by sleep-deprived souls in dark and dreary corridors: “Once you are parents, you will NEVER go to the movies again.”

GULP.

For story-lovers such as us, a life confined to the twin-prisons of Netflix and Hulu seemed quite bleak indeed. We were determined to break free.

Review – G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

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I have no idea how to rate this movie.

If you haven’t stopped reading yet, I suspect it’s for the curiosity of discovering what folly will come from this reviewer’s mind next. If so, never fear, for you’re in good company! After all, how better to start formally reviewing films than with one that splits its audience straight through the Prime Meridian? One that’s not so horribly bad to be drooling with deliciously dreadful things to say about it, but neither affording the opportunity for tremendous and emotional gushing.

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